Sunday, May 11, 2014

The Mother in Me

Almost four years ago, Ania made me a mother. 
Instantly in love and a natural desire to be my best for her.  Once again I think of the butterfly analogy that keeps popping up into our lives right now. Becoming a mother, is also like the metamorphosis a butterfly goes through. Layers of selfishness are shed. A world suddenly opened up to new places to fly and explore with these new little people I cared for. My heart was opened up to a new level of love thanks to these tiny babies who grew in me out of love! 

Ania gave me the gift of becoming a mother and opening my "mother heart". My dear Kellen showed me how big a mother's heart can be. While pregnant with him, I had that irrational fear that many mothers have that you could not possibly love another child as much. So irrational. My mothers heart grew and grew!! This little boy captivated me and allowed me to love even deeper! 

Of course, I owe a lot of who I am as a mother to the other women who have graced my life and taught me the ancient "craft of motherhood."
My mom Julee and me. This photo just says it all. The look of adoration in her eyes as baby me experiences the simple joy of a flower. Thank you mom for allowing me to explore my world and for teaching me the ways of motherhood always through your loving guidance. 

Ania was born after her great grandmother Marilu passed away so she never had the pleasure of meeting her. However, I think she shares her smile and sense of joy with her. 
 Marilu : the Original Mimi, Queenie & Pookie! 
Marilu was always laughing and knew how to captivate others through joy. Even though it's been several years since her passing, I can still recall the sound of her laugh! I'm certain she is smiling down and very proud of Ania! Thank you Mimi for teaching me joy! And the power of a smile! She smiled all the time and people loved her for it! 

Ania Elaine has part of her name from another special mother figure:

My grandmother Elaine ( I call her Nanny) is a huge part of who I am as a mother. The wisdom she imparts on me still motivates me to live my best and most fulfilling life. Her encouragement has lead me down many productive and creative paths. The artistic nature that both Ania & I have come from her as well. She is a painter and clay sculptor. When I was little, she always had me drawing and painting in her studio. 

There is another, however, a bit more somber reason I relate with my grandmother Elaine. She is a mother to 3 children- David (my dad), Tom & Nancy. 

Sadly, dear Nancy lost her battle with Leukemia at the age of 7. My grandmother faced the ultimate fear any parent of a child with cancer faces. The loss of a child. I can't imagine. I'm sure watching Ania go through the struggles of cancer and watching me, the mother go through the struggles of parenting a child with cancer just tears at her heart and reminds her of some dark times. She  however continues to demonstrate such strength and wisdom for me as I battle through this. I couldn't do it without her and I am glad I have her guidance to persevere. Thank you Nanny for being such a pilar of understanding strength and wisdom. Your grace is inspiring. You are the warrior mother I look up to most of all. 

Mother of Mike, Patty:

Thank you to Patty for Mike as well! You raised a good man who loves his wife and children very much! I know he and I both admire your strength through many of your own life trails. 

Generations of Woman:
Julee, Me & baby Ania, Elaine & Patty

Finally, I have to thank my children again for being my flowers in my garden of life. Like a butterfly, I am drawn to them always! My life is more beautiful with them a part of it. 

Happy Mother's Day indeed! 

God Bless,


No comments:

Post a Comment